How I’m Helping My Kids Stay on Track for Homeschool During Quarantine

This is a picture of what I’m doing today to keep my youngest girls motivated to stay on task with their school work (it matters to me that they’re motivated, rather than forced, otherwise it’s miserable for all of us!) This has been the best strategy so far.

You don’t have to be an artist to create these simple hand-drawn charts to help track & visualize tasks for kids who are homeschooling.

You need anyb special print-off, just trace their hands and be clear about which actions earn them a sticker to put on them (or just have them color each finger or fingernail as they earn, if you don’t have stickers). You can be super specific or not. Just keep it fun! The girls tasks are breaking down into things like worksheet pages, 15 minutes on the math program, reading a short book, changing their clothes, clearing off their place at the table, etc.

Ten is still a pretty big goal number, so I threw in a little bonus for my littlest when she earned 5 stickers for the first hand, and the girls will earn a manicure from Mommy once they’ve adorned all 10 fingers. This system is better than what we were doing before, because it visually displays how they’re progressing overall, rather than waiting all day for any benefits, or receiving little rewards for each step in the right direction (usually I would just end up enduring the push-pull cycle!)

Traditional weekly fill-in-the blank charts were doing nothing for us, because they proved to be too abstract for a 5 and 7 year old. Of course, a chart will never “do something” for us. Strategies fail quickly when they aren’t backed up by effort. We have to refer back to reminder charts frequently, reminding us to do the “work”. Having a visual strategy can really enhance those efforts, though!

My kids’ school allows them to be self-paced, which has its own challenges, but I imagine visualizing a “countdown” could also be useful for those children who seem to have endless Zoom meetings.

I have a bonus tip which I’ve shared with some of my younger clients: Make tally marks as you listen to online lectures. Use two categories, label them something like, “Stuff I already know” and “Stuff I didn’t know before” ~or~ “New” and “Review”. This gives your brain something to scan for, and scanning requires a lot less effort (and motivation) than active listening does. Think of it like when you’re in an environment with a lot of background noise and you hear your name; suddenly you’re at attention! Your name is something your brain is programmed to scan for, without conscious effort.

Depending on the subject, your brain can be somewhat casually scanning for “novel information or application” in order to try to add up tally marks, which may be used to gauge how well you were listening. Extra credit if you actually write down what the new information IS!!

Have a better day!
Love,
Janina

To Anyone Who Still Feels Like This isn’t Happening…

Just before the great Tsunami hit coats off the Indian Ocean in 2004, the ocean initially receded and many people wandered out to explore, unaware of the danger. 

Off the coast of Phuket, Dec 2004 [link to source]

Some wise leaders knew this sign meant to get as far away from the beach as possible, and thanks to them, entire villages were saved!  Of course, the wave we are currently up against looks a little more like this:

Total world case count as of Mar 20, 2020

I hesitate to post graphs like these, because they can sometimes stir up panic, which isn’t what I want. I’m not asking you to panic. I’m just begging you to move to high ground; the safety of your own home. This has been a difficult transition for some, because they were not given the opportunity to make the decision for themselves. You can regain some sense of power by accepting or choosing to be in your current reality, rather than fighting and resenting it. What are some strategies you can use to make the best of it?

Staying safe for most of us means avoiding something that looks completely harmless, like a beach at low tide, or a good friend that appears to be perfectly healthy.

COVID-19 spreads silently. That’s why leaders were reacting with relatively “small” numbers of confirmed cases. Not to mention, confirmed cases are a gross underestimate of actual cases. Do I say that to scare you? I only wish to inform you. This is validated by plenty of legitimate data. They are doing what they can now, so early on that many or even most people weren’t yet convinced of the problem.*

I am trying to focus on the positive, feeling grateful to have all my social obligations cancelled for the moment, including non-essential doctor’s appointments. What we need now is for all of our community members to also do all they can. You can cooperate without getting hysterical. You can distance yourself while still being respectful to others. Perhaps you could consider it your patriotic duty to protect your fellow citizens. Maybe we can become united in our isolation. 🤗

During WW1 & WW2, US citizens pulled together and showed their patriotism by gardening to be more self-sufficient. Image source: docsteach

You can help. Share the message. Stand up for social distancing and support it even when it’s awkward or super inconvenient to do so. I have seen a lot of shaming going on around social media. Be an example, helping normalize it for your community of friends. They don’t need your judgment, let them see how you’re managing, so it doesn’t feel so scary and weird to them. Staying home (as much as possible in your circumstance) could save a life, even if it’s the life of a stranger. Self-isolating isn’t something I’m doing out of fear, I’d like to think I’m doing it out of love. ♥️

Lives that can be saved by preventing the spread early on. Image source, NY Times

If you don’t get it, you can’t spread it. #bekindstaybehind

In 2004, scientists on the other side of the globe saw the signs and quickly realized a tsunami would be its way. They tried frantically to get in touch with the right officials, but try as they may, they had no way to warn everyone. Since then, things have changed, and the tsunami warning systems are much better. Now if a tsunami is likely, people can know about it hours in advance and take action to stay safe. In the case of the current “wave” coming our way, we are even more fortunate. We in the Western hemisphere have been given days, weeks, even months of advanced notice, with analysis by experts and scientists. Everything may look pretty normal at the moment in your neck of the woods, but don’t wait for that wave to be within sight before you react. Get off the beach, folks. Please. You’ve already been warned.

Original image credit: https://www.sms-tsunami-warning.com

*PS, Still wondering what all this fuss is about the Coronavirus?

Continue reading To Anyone Who Still Feels Like This isn’t Happening…

I Need to Declutter & Here’s a Glimmer of Hope

Admission: I have spent several months with one foot in my business project, and one foot in being a stay-at-home mom (that was my full-time gig up until this year when my youngest daughter started preschool – now it’s only most of time!) I find myself not really being able to give my heart to either very effectively in the moments that I need to. Over the years I’ve become anxious of taking the plunge into ADD-hyperfocus mode, which has kept me just short of finishing some fabulous ideas which are sitting at about 90% done. I want to do more.

Today I started a Skillshare class, and it is REALLY good, you guys! It’s by motivational speaker and life coach TJ Walker, and he calls it How to Organize your Home Effectively. I knew I would get more motivated to tackle the house if I watched it listened to something on the subject. One of the important questions he asked is for us to define our “why?”

My why: I want to feel unburdened so I can start my blog/business without all the guilt. I’ve heard that clutter is a result of indecision, and I’m finding clutter also creates MORE indecision, since I can’t decide whether to work on the clutter or something more meaningful to me.

So now as I approach decluttering, I’m thinking it’s actually best for me to cultivate a mindset, not motivation and willpower and focus, or determination and endurance. I need to just get in the mindset of being decisive. I don’t even need to feel “inspired”. I don’t even need to do it for very long at once.

Being decisive doesn’t mean I know I’m making “the right choice”. It means I’m able and willing to handle the consequences of whatever choice I make. It’s kind of like being… Confident.

There you go, a little motivation for both of us and a blog post written in only 30 minutes! Write YOUR “why” in the comments; in other words, the reason you want to do this hard thing, whatever is staring you in the face, then go do it! 🥰

Update: Important realization – I still had to get myself used to the idea of doing it even once I made the decision. Once I started, I gradually gained momentum. Nowhere near where I want to be, but I can’t expect to do it all in a day (maybe that’s why I keep hesitating? Is that my unrealistic expectation?) I am glad to have the advice from any geniuses out there with suggestions for keeping up on papers!

What’s Blocking Your Path?

“I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.”

Charles R. Swindoll

The other day my youngest daughter was putting up our play chairs all in a row to make a path for her to walk across. The problem was that her path was blocking my path. As I came up to her creation, my hands were full of things I was trying to carry to the kitchen.

“Great,” I muttered to myself, “now I can’t get through.”

My daughter had “blocked” my way with chairs, and the other end of the table was even more blocked because we’re remodeling. I decided she’d better move her little project somewhere else.

“Wait, what?” I questioned myself, “Did I seriously just say I can’t about this tiny little problem? This obstacle is totally surmountable!”

My daughter came in the room and asked innocently, “Do you like the path I made?”

“Yes, I do!” I proclaimed. Honestly, I didn’t even have to move the row aside in any way, I only had to step over to get to the other side. Fortunately for her, Mommy had been learning about perceived mental barriers, otherwise I might have felt irritated or even overwhelmed. Instead I was excited, and I wanted to share my insight with you!

I felt cheerful every time I saw the “Great Wall of Chairs” that I had to step over, because my brain was continually registering the assignment as impossible, and I kept practicing overriding that thought. It was strangely empowering. I was even motivated to sweep the floor (well enough to take a picture). 😉

Not every obstacle we run up against is so simple. Life is complicated and life is hard, but try to avoid telling yourself, “it’s TOO hard.” That’s called mental resistance. Having mental resistance about a problem we face only makes it more difficult to solve, or more difficult to endure.

Your brain is programmed to protect you from expending too much energy, and it tells you to avoid anything difficult or stressful. That kind of programming can work for us or against us. Don’t be afraid of the effort it will take to tackle a problem that at first seems too hard to face; or to experience a feeling that seems too hard to feel.

Those of us with ADHD experience a LOT of mental resistance when it comes to doing the most ordinary, mundane things. Rather than trying to escape, next time you run up against a wall of something you “can’t” get over, challenge that thought. Doubt what your brain is programmed to tell you, and see if your problem really can be overcome. Perhaps with more effort, and more external support, I hope you can feel empowered to do all kinds of things you never thought you could!

That is one of the great hopes I have for this blog; that it will inspire you to reach and grow beyond your own expectations. Start small, and when you notice an obstacle, you can think of it as an opportunity to practice overcoming.

Share what you learn! I’m excited to see what you come up with, and how a difference in perspective changed an experience for you!

Is This Blog for Me? (I Don’t Have ADHD…)

A person with ADHD is, first and foremost, a person. If you are also a person, you might enjoy the content of this blog. 😉

This is particularly true if you have ever experienced any of the following “symptoms”:

  • You have procrastinated
  • You’ve gotten distracted
  • You’ve been forgetful
  • You’ve struggled to get organized
  • You’ve struggled to prioritize
  • You’ve felt overwhelmed or “scattered”
  • You’ve been disappointed in how little you accomplished

Also if you:

  • Care about someone with ADHD and want to understand how to better relate to or assist them (good for you!)
  • Have imagination and can apply wisdom from someone else’s life to your own life, even though you don’t have exactly the same life! 😀

What if I don’t even believe ADHD is real?

  • That’s nothing we need to quarrel about. Consider any mention of ADHD to be shorthand for regular people who struggle sometimes with executive functioning skills (see list of “symptoms”, above). I believe the struggle is more or less universal, especially now that we have devices that can soothe and distract us at any time of day or night.
  • I don’t plan to promote any specific dietary or pharmaceutical intervention, or even natural remedies. I will leave that part of the discussion to the professionals.
  • I do encourage people to do some things for their general well being (such as regular sleep, exercise, developing confidence, nurturing healthy relationships, etc.)
I’ve lived it! I’ve been gradually learning how to turn my ADHD from a liability to an asset.

So, if you are someone who has a general fascination with the human brain and behavior and would enjoy reading a unique perspective on the subject, or better yet if you want real-life strategies to apply what you’ve learned, then WELCOME! This blog is for you

My aim is to share habits, strategies and coping skills that can help shape positive mindset and behavior. I feel that focus on these areas is a necessary part of any person overcoming any obstacle, whatever their struggle may be.